On the Blog Today
You might be feeling alone… Your heart is crushed…You have that awful lump in your throat….
You’ll be okay, I promise.
Before I met my husband, I had some serious relationships that all ended with that sickening feeling. The feeling of total devastation… What went wrong? Why couldn’t we make it work? I am heartbroken. I would even get back together with the same person over and over in hopes the next time would be better, but I had to learn the hard way that ‘You Can’t Force Something That’s Not There’.
It wasn’t until I was 25 that I started to figure out how this all worked. You see, I dated a guy (even living with him) who turned out to be someone I didn’t know. This individual made promises when all along he knew he wouldn’t be keeping them, the way our relationship ended was heart breaking to me and not to mention my family and girlfriends wanted to kick his a**. I’d never felt so robbed and manipulated, so not only was I dealing with being sad, I was furious!
I knew I needed to get away. Get away to ‘find myself’, find inspiration, and to remind myself that I AM a great girl. I remember marching into my boss’ office telling him I needed time off immediately.( My boss unfortunately knew this guy because we all worked at the same place so he was more understanding to the situation.) Thankfully my boss granted my ‘Me Time’ and that evening I was on a plane to New York City alone. I didn’t have a plan, I didn’t know anyone, all I knew was I was going to be alone and I was okay with that. (That was until my parents got wind I jumped on a plane to NYC and they set me up with a friend of theirs daughter to stay with).
Regardless, I was gone for 5 days and for those 5 days ‘I Was Free’. I was alone, I did every tourist thing you could imagine alone, I shopped alone, I ate alone, I drank alone…I call this my “Sex in The City” trip, it was liberating. Not only was it refreshing, but I learned a lot about who I was. I was stronger than I gave myself credit for. I was independent and didn’t need a man. I enjoyed being on my own schedule. But more importantly , I realized I AM worthy and deserving of a man who was amazing!
This trip was the start of my new dating mentality, see below:
♥ If I wasn’t feeling it after date #1, I wasn’t going to waste my time or his time with a 2nd date. Be honest, they’ll appreciate it.
♥ No more trying to force something that isn’t there.
♥ Timing TRULY is everything. God has a plan for us and when we’re meant to meet ‘the one’ IT WILL happen.
♥ If there was something about a guy that I didn’t agree with , I’d just walk away. I realized you can’t change a 25+ year old from their ways and if I could it wasn’t my job too!
♥ BUT my favorite guideline was to have fun dating and not take it so serious.
Once I was able to accept that I was not in control and that a higher power was (In my case God) , I decided it was time to just have fun. During my single time I dated a lot, went to a lot of Happy Hours, and focused on my career and health. Not at any point did I question whether or not I’d meet someone one day, it was just a matter of when it was the right time in my life.
After about a year of living it up I met that amazing guy who is now my husband. I’ll talk about more about that experience in another post, but for now I want you to know you’ll be okay. Whether you’re in the middle of a break up or are still hurting from a previous relationship, remember to be positive about your future. Finding love is easy when it’s meant, so rather than focusing so much on a relationship that needs so much help, focus on yourself. If it’s difficult while you’re dating, it will be worse if you marry, and that’s not what love is about.
Know Your Worth… Be Patient…Have Faith…and Have Fun!
XOXO,
Bridal Stop Girl
Bridal Stop Girl 